Help!

I forgot to ask when I posted earlier. I need laundry help. If any of you can spare some time over the weekend I'll be very grateful. I have everything we need except the required energy.

Thanks.

Update 8/4/16

Here's the latest, folks. I saw 2 docs yesterday. The last one was the worst, but really good. It was a follow up with the cardiologist, whom i didn't think needed to be in the mix and both his Fellow and he agreed with. What  a=made it the worst is i had to wait over an hour to see him and including the ekg it made my day very long.

Now the actual good news. The pulmonologist formally released me from using oxygen and they contacted the gas company who will be here Tuesday to take all the oxygen crap away. I am actually grateful to have had access to it because I needed it, but not at all sad it's going.

The plan going forward is to stop the antibiotic next Friday, followed by getting a ct scan 2 weeks after that, followed up by an appointment with her to see what's next. It's hoped by her and I both, that no more meds will be required and a return to full health is imminent.

There will no doubt be some damage to my lung which, while not deadly, may present some issues which will need to be dealt with, but nothing like what I have ben going through for the last year.

More when there is more.

Update 7/22/16

I saw my pulmonologist yesterday and after getting a new chest x-ray she said progress is being made, but slow. She said, "That was a nasty pneumonia." She'll be renewing my antibiotic for another 3 weeks which will hopefully be the end of it.

She also cut my oxygen by 2/3. I think she dislikes it more than I do. So today when I got up, instead of putting the oxygen on I left it off. I went to breakfast with a client and took it along,, but didn't put it on. I haven't had it on all day. I'm a bit uneasy on my feet but haven't tripped or stumbled or thought I was going to, so I'm going to see how long I can go.

I still have no energy and am a bit weak, as I have been for weeks, so we'll see. Also, I don't seem to be getting any more bruises and the ones I have are fading slowly. Maybe my hemoglobin is rising. We'll see.

That's it for now.

Medical Update 7/16/16

Met with my internist yesterday and it looks like good news for a change.

Recent tests confirm no recurrance of lung cancer and no indication of any others, including bone marrow. New antibiotic seems to be doing its job and the expectation is that by the time i am finished with it (on the 25th) I should be done with this long ordeal. We'll see.

The question of oxygen doesn't seem to go away and he said pulmonary rehab may be in my future. It's a few visits to RIC with exercises etc. He said it's not prolonged, just designed to support my overall condition. Between the cancer 17 years ago and this protracted pneumonia it may be a good course of action.

I see my pumonologist next Thursday and my internist again in a month. The word is my oncologist is bored with me. What could be better.

Til next time.

Medical Update, 7/8/16

Here's the latest in the 11 month saga.

I DON't HAVE TB!

I do have something infectious in my lung, though and they  are running cultures on my sputum to get a better handle on what it is. They are also testing to see if there is any indication of new cancer. It isn't suspected, but if they can rule it out they will. There will be results, maybe as early as Monday.

I am on a new antibiotic, since it isn't TB, but with that I get to take Probiotics. One more thing.

Also Dr. Mikes, my pulmonologist wants me of oxygen in the next 2 weeks. I see her again on the 21st. There's some good news.

I feel better in some ways today, although extra energy isn't one of them. My friend took me to Walgreens to pick up a scrip and my probiotics and brought me back home without taking the oxygen. AND i felt fone during and after the trip. INTERESTING.

That's it for now. More when there is more.

Personal Power & Listening

Welcome back to the PAEON blog and our discussion of personal power and listening.

Well, actually this is the mrbillcoach blog, but due to technical difficulties (we're clueless about how to master this blog thing for two people) we are trying to continue the conversation we started at the Paeon Blog. Please bear with us.

One of the best uses of personal power is assertion: stating what I mean. It could be a need, request, interpretation or something else; but it really is my truth. When I share that with someone I am acting in my power, but I am also vulnerable. I have just admitted the exact location in which my defenses down.

That's the first part of the communication, the sharing of information. And as I indicated in the first post, I am going to introduce the activity of listening. And in some cases, activity is too strong a word. I have often just shut up so the person I was with could unload whatever was on their mind, paying no attention to the content, just praying for silence. I would pretend, even contend that I was listening. I was not.

Moving through the power scheme, the next level of listening I'm going to describe is closed or defensive listening. I have spent most of my life the master of this. I listen for what you will say that will make you or your argument vulnerable to attack. Once I hear what I need to hear I know I have won, and I'm safe. You can't hurt me anymore because you are either wrong or stupid. Of course this keeps me locked up in a very small world, just barely big enough for me. And probably shrinking.

Then I was introduced to Reflective Listening by Adam Kahane in his great book "Solving Tough Problems." He describes this as listening for the way in which what someone else is saying includes me. I don't mean the other person is dragging me in or accusing or blaming, but the place being described which I can see includes me. I put myself into the situation so I get an appreciation of the depth of what the other person is experiencing. I'm not actually there, but I am looking to "get it." In this place we are equal. we are not the same, but we are nearing the idea of compassion and mutual experience. Here we have something to share.

And finally, the place I have been looking for and terrified of all my life is that combination of all the listening powers and skills Empathy. Again from Kahane and a mentor of his, Otto Sharmer, this is described as "listening from the inside." I am listening for the places where our experience overlaps, or where we share a common need or fear.

At this point we have the opportunity to use our mutual personal power to find the place that belongs to both of us. This is a place beyond our individual selfish desires. What We have found in our practice is that this is a place where people step into the unknown; a place beyond either one;s ability to control what happens. When people are able to do this together, that is when life for both gets much bigger.

So who wants to share a story about how they risked attack and rejection with another person and went way past where they thought they could go?

Or maybe something we haven't yet imagined happening?

Restart

Please forgive my neophite standing and typical unwillingness to read instructions. Here is our original post in the appropriate position. We expect to respond and to post weekly.

Welcome to the Paeon blog. We at Paeon are here to articulate our experiences in the world of Coaching and focus on the idea of Greatness as we say on our Home Page www.paeonpartners.com.

Please be aware that it may appear that I think I know everything. If you see that it is because you are paying attention. That doesn't make it true. We (David and I) will be putting out our experiences and ideas here and hope you will contribute to the conversation.

For now I'd like to start out by talking about power. While I am most specifically interested in Personal Power, it is important for me to see how many situations are power based. While war is the most obvious, it is just the biggest, most obvious example. I'll say more about that later, but today I want to mention what I have been talking to my clients about lately with regard to their Personal Power.

As a human being I have power. It is not a choice, it is merely a fact. And there are three things I can do with this power. I can give it away so that someone else has it. This takes me out of my life, except to be a Victim. I capitalize that because it is an archetypical Victim. I am not making the decisions in my life, someone else is.

Alternatively I may use my power against someone else. I am not referring to self protection here, I am talking about using my power to intentionally hurt someone else. And finally I may use my power for my own benefit.

It is important to recognize that when I use my power to benefit myself, it serves me. And it also serves the people closest to me: my loved ones, friends, co-workers, because these are the people who benefit most from my being powerful. The reasons we are close is because we carry common cause, we are interested in the same things, want the same kinds of outcomes. The people closest want me to make my decisions. And I want the people closest to me to make their own decisions. That way we are living in a world of our making, not a world of someone else's making.

This may sound like everyone gets their own way. Not likely. What it really means is that I make my decisions first without knowing what someone else's decision might be. When they hear of my decision, they get to ask if I have considered a concern of theirs. At that point the negotiation begins to take place. If we both tell out truth, and if we both listen with curiosity and interest, we wind up with the way we want.

One of the powers of relationships is that they create an opportunity to see the world as a bigger place than we can see alone. They also create the possibility to get beyond the space of our own imaginations.

Next time, we'll talk about the various levels of listening in an effort to make our negotiating more powerful and rewarding.